Confidence of Girls in Canada Reaching a New Low

How’s your self-esteem? Would you consider yourself super confident? Medium? Or totally not? What do you love about yourself? What do you dislike about yourself?

 

I posed these questions to a group of young girls between the ages of 5 – 17 at our most recent Girls Empowerment Event, and the answers were at times heart-breaking. While some of the younger girls could give me a list of twenty things they loved about themselves, including I’m beautiful, smart, a great runner, I clean my room, I’m a good listener and a good friend, others couldn’t think of one reason they loved themselves. And as the girls got older, the answers took such a negative spin.

“I’m not popular.”

“I’m fat.”

“How do I get better at being less ugly?”

As someone who has always been sure of herself, I try my best to tell those around me how much I love them and WHY. This session brought me to tears. I wanted to run over to these girls and give them a huge hug and tell them that they are perfect. They are beautiful, smart, funny, kind and fun to be around. I wanted to tell them that before puberty their bodies start to change and they start to put on a couple of extra pounds because they are getting ready to grow and become a woman. And that no matter what size they are they are beautiful. It broke my heart to hear these girls think so little of themselves, but the reality of the situation is that most girls’ self-esteem is absolute crap.

According to a recent survey commissioned by the Girls Guides of Canada, 55% of females said the need to look and act a certain way, as reinforced to them by societal expectations, has negatively affected their self-esteem. More than half of girls, 56%, also said that they’re getting mixed messages on the way they are “supposed” to act and dress. One in five girls surveyed said they feel the need to be skinny while also having curves.

The ways in which girls are told to act, and how that influences their behaviour, is just as troubling:

  • 59% of girls feel the need to act in a certain way because society tells them to.
  • 30% of girls didn’t take up a sport because it’s not traditionally associated with women.
  • 24% of girls don’t want to pursue a career of their choice because of unfair pay-differenced between men and women.
  • 16% of girls pretend not to like science and math-related subjects out of fear of being ostracized.

(Source: https://www.mtlblog.com/whats-happening/this-is-why-canadian-girls-have-low-self-esteem)

Does this not sound unreal to you? Pretending to not like science and math because being smart isn’t cool? Or the idea of feeling so conflicted about being both skinny and having a booty – can’t we all relate to that one? Imagine that issue as your 12-year-old self?!?

So what can we do? I wish we could follow young girls around and give them boosts throughout the day on how amazing they are. And when bullies start in we can stand up for them and make them feel loved and so sure of themselves. I wish we could erase any doubt or negative self-talk from their worlds and fill it with confidence. I wish we could start these conversations with them when they are first learning to talk…so we don’t wait until they are 16 to find out how they feel about themselves. And so we don’t have to wait until we are 40 to realize that we should love ourselves – all parts and pieces – that we should do it from day one.

All of these wishes can’t be done overnight, but we DO have a starting block. We have created a tool for parents and teachers to start the conversations with their kids – girls AND boys – about their self-confidence. It is called the Confidence Workbook, and we are so proud of this piece of work.

The Confidence Workbook has ten exercises for kids to do either on their own, with a friend, parent or teacher to start looking at their confidence. We ask questions and relate to the kids with real life examples. We talk about negative self-talk. We play games, we find reasons for them to love themselves, we determine who makes them feel really good and who maybe doesn’t. The Confidence Workbook can be purchased online here for only $16, and we will email you this wonderful e-book within 48 hours.

We have had a terrific response from media with regards to our Workbook. Here are a few links for you to check out:

CTV – https://www.facebook.com/pg/FITWomenandGirls/videos/?ref=page_internal

CBC – http://www.cbc.ca/beta/news/canada/manitoba/confidence-workbook-winnipeg-self-esteem-1.4306771

Winnipeg City News – http://winnipeg.citynews.ca/video/2017/09/26/winnipeg-sisters-hope-workbook-will-inspire-confidence-in-kids/

Metro News – http://www.metronews.ca/news/winnipeg/2017/09/25/new-workbook-aims-to-help-winnipeg-kids-build-self-esteem.html

QX-104 – http://www.qx104fm.com/2017/09/25/a-first-of-its-kind-confidence-workbook-for-kids/

My Toba – https://mytoba.ca/featured/winnipeg-women-launch-kids-confidence-workbook/

 

 

 

Top 7 Reasons to Have a Healthy Lifestyle

This past weekend I had the opportunity to attend the CanFitPro World Expo with one of our Fit Communications clients. He was looking to connect with the best of the best in fitness trainers for his business, so what better place than to head to Toronto for the biggest show of its kind in Canada.

We honestly didn’t know what to expect in terms of who was really going to be there, what they would be looking for, and what was going to happen over the course of the six day expo. But I was truly blown away by it all. There were sessions for trainers to learn new classes, new techniques, about new equipment and nutrition. There were classes ran by some of the biggest names in the fitness industry like Tony Horton, The Brutes and Jillian Michaels. Walking the aisles of the expo you would see all shapes and sizes of people, from all walks of life, with all different fitness goals in mind. It got me thinking more and more about what motivates me to live a healthy life. In this week’s blog, I wanted to give my top seven reasons why I live a healthy lifestyle, with hopes that one or two will inspire you to live the same.

  1. There is a saying in yoga, ‘if you can, you must’. While at first I was taken back by this sentiment, I grew to love it. Perhaps I am putting my own spin on things, but my take is that if your body is able – you are able to run, walk, jump, swim, dance, kick – then do it. Do it as well as you can. Do it because your body is able. Do you know how many people wish they could that can’t? Maybe they are in a wheelchair, or perhaps dealing with an injury, or maybe just their age has limited them on what they can do. They WISH they could run, walk, jump, swim, dance and kick. Do it because you CAN.
  2. The healthier I am, the more energy I have. This sounds obvious, but how often do we hear people say the reason they don’t go to the gym is because they don’t have the energy? Or perhaps the reason they eat an unhealthy diet it because they don’t have the energy to cook? The cleaner I eat and the more consistent I am with my workouts, the more energy I have. This past weekend I spent with Sharon Delbridge who is over the age of 50 and has more energy than any human I have ever met. She teaches about five classes a day and is an absolute energizer bunny all the time. Healthy moves energize you!
  3. I set a goal in my twenties to live into my 100’s. I read a lot about centenarians and find their habits to be quite fascinating. Two things they always recommend is a lot of sleep and staying active. Maybe 100 isn’t for you, but I bet you want to live as long as possible in a healthy body. Treat your body right and you will.
  4. It’s fun! Running for an hour on a treadmill is my personal version of hell. Definitely not my thing! Instead, I do activities that I find enjoyable and fun so that it doesn’t seem like work to do it. Whether I am walking my dog, lifting weights, hitting pads at kickboxing or stretching it out at yoga, I truly enjoy it. Many activities I do solo, but I also have a few terrific friends that like to try new activities. Instead of doing the typical hang out sessions of drinks on a patio, we head to a fitness class, get sweaty, have fun and enjoy life. It really is what you make of it.
  5. Physical appearance. I can’t say I mind the benefit of the way it makes my body look. Of course it is more than that, but it sure is a terrific bonus. When you look good, you feel good. I can be proud of my body at the age of 40 in a bathing suit, and am not shy about it. I work hard at the gym and am mindful and consistent with my healthy nutrition. Whether you have a six pack at forty or not, you should be happy with the way you look when you look at yourself in the mirror. And that is different for everyone. Just be happy with where you are. It’s not a competition.
  6. I honestly think the biggest reason for me working out and eating healthy is because of the benefits to my mental health. When my mom was diagnosed with cancer, it was the hardest time of my life. I maintained going to the gym every single day. I had to. It was the only place for 45 minutes that I could feel good. Sometimes I left there and cried my eyes out in the parking lot, but for 45 minutes I was doing something positive. It keeps my stress levels low and my happiness high. No matter what is happening in my life, when I finish a workout I always feel better about things and have a clear sense of the best next steps.
  7. To set a good example for the people in my life. Practice what you preach I suppose. Whether it is the little girls in my family, a close friend or even just a social media friend, I want to help inspire people to live their best lives. Part of that is to exercise, eat nutritionally dense food, sleep lots and laugh more. I love hearing that something I posted on social media or said in a conversation with a girlfriend inspired them to make a healthy life choice. Be the change you want to see – and I want to see everyone living their healthiest self.

What is your favorite reason for living a healthy life? Comment below and help those in your life stay motivated to live their best and healthiest life!

 

The Big “C” – What to Do When Your Friend or Family Member has Cancer

I’m fortunate enough to write this blog as someone who has not been diagnosed with “the Big C” so far in my life. I do, however, know too many people that I love who have been diagnosed. From my experiences with them and from what they have spoken to me about, I have come up with my own “do’s and don’ts list” when it comes dealing with someone that has cancer.

Do – know your relationship level with the person and act accordingly. If this person is a colleague at work and you are not very close, don’t sob on her lap about how awful this is and how bad you feel. Judge your relationship and act accordingly – even if it’s to just say how sorry you are to hear.

Don’t – just offer. DO! Don’t leave it up in the air or dependant on your friend to call if they want to talk. Call her. Text her. Email her – whatever. Just check in. And don’t offer to make a meal. Instead tell her you will make X and just to let her know when is a good night to drop it off. When you do drop it off, don’t stay. The reason most people turn down a meal is because they are in no mood to see people. Chances are they aren’t feeling well and the house is a mess. Don’t come in – even for a short visit. You could even just leave it on the front step with a note and leave after you ring the doorbell.

Don’t – take it personally. If she wants to open up and talk, great. If not, don’t get upset or hurt. You have no idea what she’s going through – even though you could imagine, you don’t know really know. Remember, this isn’t about you.

DO – Let her be sad, mad, angry, frustrated, regretful, blaming etc… This is her life. Getting this news changes everything. She’s allowed to feel all of these feelings.

Don’t – tell her it’s going to be fine. You have no grounds to say something like this. You don’t know. Hell, even the doctors sometimes don’t know.

Don’t – be a selfish asshole. A friend of mine told me about a time, when she had breast cancer, that her friend was over for dinner and kept whining about having to go on blood pressure or thyroid pills! She wouldn’t stop complaining about the fact that she would have to be on them for the rest of her life. OMG! It’s a PILL! My friend didn’t even know what her treatment or odds were like to live, and this twit is talking about her thyroid issue? Get a clue!

DO – be there. Whether it’s a phone call or to go for a spa day or to listen to her cry for 3 hours, just be there.

DO – learn about the disease. Each type of cancer is different and so are treatments. Take time to learn about the type of cancer so that you can be educated if and when you speak to her about it.

DO – share information. If you hear about a new treatment, drug, research or vitamins etc… let her know. Although it’s likely she knows all there is to know from googling the hell out of cancer, she may not have heard of your information. At the very least, she knows you care and are thinking of her.

DO – offer to help. Again depending on the relationship, offer to help drive to treatments or pick up kids from school, or make a meal or clean her bathroom. I find that offering this help to the spouse (if applicable) is most useful. This person is having to pick up the slack on top of having to deal with the illness as well. This person would be more likely to accept help than your friend – or at least that has been my experience.

DO – be positive and supportive. Don’t go overboard and be annoyingly positive – like everything is sunshine and lollipops. But do try to be a source of positivity and support. It has been proven that thinking positive and sending positive energy to injured body parts speeds healing. So try to encourage that.

DO – continue your normal relationship. Continue to celebrate birthdays, have girls’ night, watch The Bachelor, gossip about celebrities and more. Although having cancer has changed her life, it hasn’t ended it! She will likely want or need some sense of normalcy and distraction and a chance to just laugh and smile.

I know that some people may read this and agree or disagree. This is just what I, personally think is appropriate from my own experiences with family and friends. I’m hoping that you will never have to use this list because no one you know will ever get cancer. But if you do, this could be a good starting point on what to do next for your loved one.

Making Changes for “Girls”

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At Fit Communications, we are on a mission to make Canadians healthier. In addition, we are super passionate about getting and keeping girls in sport and fitness to not only make them fit and healthy but for all of the other amazing benefits that come along with sport. This includes building confidence and self-esteem and empowering them to know that they can do anything they set their minds to do.

We are happy to see that we are not alone in this passion. Many groups including CAAWS share this belief and are motivated to develop strong, confident women. Lately I have also discovered that there are some product companies jumping on board the “girl power” train.

A recent announcement was made by the Dairy Farmers of Canada that their dairy farmers across Canada are coming together to establish the Fueling Women Champions program and movement.  They discovered and wanted to do something about the fact that women’s sports are overshadowed by media coverage and funding of men’s sports.  They are “committed to helping women succeed and advance in sport, while encouraging a healthy and active lifestyle in which dairy products play a role.”  The program (Womenchampions.ca and #championher) goal is to help women’s sports become more watched, more appreciated and more financially stable. Fueling Women Champions is working with several of Canada’s top athletes, supporting them in their competitive efforts and also facilitating mentorship opportunities for them with young girls and women across the country.

Even cosmetic companies are starting to “get it”.  Let’s face it – most cosmetic companies want you to buy their products. They appeal to our desire to be not only beautiful but strong, smart etc. But some companies go beyond just saying “you’re worth it”. They put their money where their mouths are. They don’t just throw a supermodel in front of us and tell us that we can look the same as she does if we buy their products. In fact they don’t even mention products at all. For years now, Dove has been breaking down standard definitions and stereotypes of what it means to be beautiful and instead, promoting confidence and self-love. A fabulous example of this is the Dove video #MyBeautyMySay  of all different types of women telling their stories of how they were told they couldn’t or shouldn’t do something based on their looks. I love this!

Always, the feminine product, is promoting the “like a girl” campaign and wanting to change what it means to run, throw and fight like a girl. They know that when girls hit puberty, their confidence plummets and half quit sports. Always points out that sadly, somehow the phrase “like a girl” has become an insult. Always wants to change this and is actively taking steps to change our idea of what it’s like to do anything “like a girl”. The commercial/video “Let’s make #likeagirl mean amazing things”, which I ended up crying watching, is one of the ways they are showing us their important messaging.

Covergirl is another cosmetic company that wants to empower girls and women. They realize that too many times girls are told they can’t do certain things like be funny, own their own business or rock. But the Procter & Gambles cosmetic maker’s commercials focus on saying that “girls can.” Their ads feature different celebrities showing the way “girls can succeed, even after being told they “can’t.” This video shows “Ellen Degeneres saying that girls can be funny, Queen Latifah saying that girls can own their own business and P!nk saying that girls can rock.”

So as you can see, things are changing or at least trying to change.  Some companies are finally realizing that women don’t want to see unrealistic images of women to sell products. They want to see real women inspiring confidence and unlimited success in any area they choose.  I believe that most women today want change – for themselves and for our upcoming generation of young women. Hurray to those companies working hard to make the world better for our girls!

If you know of any companies that are doing great things to inspire, support and empower women, please let us know! The more companies we know of, the more we can support their movements and products.

 

How To Start Loving Your Body

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Do you ever have one of those days where you think ‘wow my body feels great today…I wonder what I weigh?’ to only step on the scale to get disappointed? You gained 5 pounds and you just don’t understand how you can feel so good yet the scale is telling you not to.

Do you ever have one of those days where you look in the mirror and don’t like the way that your tummy isn’t flat or the way your thighs look or the way your butt just isn’t high enough? But yesterday, you looked amazing so what happened over night?

Do you ever have one of those days that you go to the gym and you are feeling so great about yourself until a 20-something girl in a sports bra and booty shorts shows up and your mindset changes to how far away you are from where you want to be?

You’re not alone. In fact, over 90% of women have a ‘I hate my body’ moment EVERY SINGLE DAY. 90 PERCENT!!

Well we need to change this. NOW. And this week’s blog is dedicated to a few suggestions on how you can start loving your body immediately.

  1. Throw away your scale. Seriously. Who cares what the number is? Are you competing in a kickboxing match? No. So who cares if you are up or down a few pounds. If you look in the mirror and feel great, that’s what counts. A number is just a number.
  2. What mirror do you find yourself doing the most negative body talk in? That mirror needs to start showing you some love. Grab an old lipstick or a sharpee and make a huge pink heart with three things you love about the way you look. That mirror needs to tell you how beautiful you are even when you don’t see it.
  3. Take naked pictures of yourself. This one might be a stretch for some of you, but honestly, when your body is feeling so hot, snap a pic. Lying down, standing up, from behind, the front or the side – or maybe all of these. On the days where your body isn’t feeling the love, go back through your photos and reassure yourself how hot you really are. And if you’re thinking – ‘my profile pic on social media does this’ – it’s not the same. Loving your body in its raw naked state versus covered up is not the same. We need to start loving our bodies without the layers.
  4. When you find yourself over-analyzing your body, stop and quickly shift your focus to the three things you love the most about yourself. Not only is this good for your head game, but positive body thinking attracts a positive body image. And if you can’t think of three things that are gorgeous about you, ask your friends, your boyfriend, your kids. Make a list. Refer back to it. YOU ARE GORGEOUS in every size, shape and color.
  5. Think about the place that you feel your absolute best self, and start to spend more time there. For me, it’s the gym. I wear gym gear that I feel good about my body in, I workout hard, and I am yet to leave saying ‘wow, what a waste of time’. As you start to put yourself in locations that feel good to your soul, you’ll start to hopefully love yourself a bit more.
  6. Be the friend that makes everyone feel like they are the best human to walk the planet. I don’t have a plethora of friends, but I do know that all of them know how much I love them. I tell them often and I tell them why. Everyone loves to feel loved and connected, and it is our job to help the people in our circles feel incredible. One of my favorite things to do is write emails to my friends on my Top 10 Favorite Things About YOU. I would suggest doing this exercise to those you love starting today. And let’s make sure you are on that list of people first.

I hope this gives you a new helpful tips on loving your naked body. For extra motivation and positive living tips, sign up for our newsletter here – www.eepurl.com/GHTT5

10 Things I’ve Learned Since Losing My Mom

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I lost my Mom to cancer in December 2013. It was a fast transition from illness to death. No matter how old you are, losing your Mom is a terrible thing. In looking at the positive side of things, I have put together a list of the things I’ve learned since losing my Mom.

1) No one is safe from cancer- my mom wasn’t a saint but she was pretty effing close. She was always giving of herself – she made everyone feel welcome and important. You just need to know that sometimes bad things happen to good people.

2) You must fight for the health care you want. You have to be your own advocate for your own care. Expect more of your health care team – ask lots of questions and don’t be satisfied with what they tell you if you need or want to know more.

3) “Everything happens for a reason” – I disagree. This is something people say in crappy or sad situations to perhaps make themselves feel better or see the light. But sometimes things don’t happen for a reason. Sometimes shit just happens.

4) Family is number ONE. My parents always stressed this. Sometimes friends come and go, but family is family. You can, and should, always be able to count on them. My Mom taught us to nurture these relationships and stress this point with my own kids.

5) People show their love in different ways. Some people are great with flowery words to express their love. Others show their love by doing and giving. My mom was a “gifter”- she loved to give gifts. She took time and pride in giving the best gifts. It was her way of showing how much she was thinking of you. This may be part of the reason she celebrated every single holiday, event or milestone. It was more opportunities to show her love. So remember that not everyone shows love in the same way, but if you are lucky enough to feel someone’s love, cherish it greatly.

6) Celebrate the little things. My Mom was the best at this. If we passed a swimming level – celebrate! If it was the day of the dead in Mexico…we should have a party for it! I love that!

7) Do things for your kids – with your time. It means more than anything money can buy. Volunteer at their school, go for a bike ride together, do crafts together, bake cookies, throw the football around. No one will ever remember how awesome it was that dad bought you an iPad or mom watched T.V. with you. But they will remember the way that you made them feel special, cherished and loved.

8) Have no regrets – don’t wait to take that trip, start that business or tell that special someone you love them – tomorrow may look very different than today. Our mom was our biggest supporter. No matter how crazy the idea would be, I can still hear her say ‘that’s a great idea! How can I help?’ She always believed in us and the notion of ‘going for it’.

9) Take care of yourself. Start today. You can do things starting now, no matter your age, your health or your lifestyle, to be a healthier and happier version of yourself.

10) Grieving is a process and is different for everyone. Respect others’ right to grieve their way and in their own time.

As sad as I am that I have lost my Mom – my son will never meet her, I will never see her warm smile or watch her laugh until she cries or go spring plant shopping with her or eat her amazing love-filled prime rib – I am so eternally grateful for the 38 years I was blessed to have her as my Mom. For not only did I have the lessons she taught me while she was here, but also those that I have learned from her passing.

Top 15 Favorite Thoughts on Bringing Positive Vibes Into Our Lives

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At Fit Communications we are two women on a mission. We are an inspired strategic marketing and communications team dedicated to spreading the word of health every day. Whether it be on our personal profiles online, our Twitter feed, our Facebook Group page, our newsletter, or just our daily lives, we are truly dedicated to spreading the word of health and happiness daily. Happiness and positivity have to be a dedicated, daily effort if we want to see it manifest into our lives. And some days that is easier than others, so this week’s blog is my Top 15 Favorite Thoughts on Bringing Positive Vibes Into Our Lives.

  1. You can have, be, do and create every single thing you can imagine. If you can think it – go get it. The universe or God or energy or whatever you want to call it, LOVES you and wants to see you succeed. Remember that and then create your own opportunities.
  2. Your vibe attracts your tribe. Surround yourself with people who make you feel amazing, strong, smart, challenged and whole. When you put out the positive vibes, they come back to you tenfold. Don’t worry about when, because timing isn’t the important part. Just know that it is all on its way for you.
  3. Aspire to be a giver. Give love. Give good vibes. Give hope. Give strength. Give positivity.
  4. Believe good things will happen, and they will. Start every day by preparing your mind to receive the best that life has to offer.
  5. Be grateful. Even when it feels like you have nothing, find something. Every single day before I get out of bed I say three things I am currently grateful for. Every. Single. Day. Gratefulness and happiness are a HABIT.
  6. Be in love with your life – every single minute of it. Remember that your life is what your thoughts make it.
  7. Be so happy that when others see you, they become happy too.
  8. Once in a while, blow your own damn mind. Shock yourself at how great you are, or what you can accomplish. It will build confidence and inner strength.
  9. When you start to make terrific decisions for yourself the universe rewards you. Why? Because God/Source/the Universe LOVES YOU and wants to see you do, be, create and have so many incredible things in life. Make those decisions so you feel blessed, and POOF! You will be.
  10. The more you are thankful, the more you attract things to be thankful for.
  11. Believe in what you want so much it has no choice but to materialize. Envision it. Feel it. Work for it. Create a vision that makes you want to jump out of bed in the morning.
  12. Remember that you always get what you focus on. If you are focused on being broke, you will be broke. If you focus on being sad, you will be sad. If you focus on abundance, you will be abundant. If you focus on being happy, you will be happy.
  13. Love yourself. Like really truly LOVE yourself – all the parts and pieces, the good and the bad, the fabulous and the not-so-fabulous. Love truly can conquer all.
  14. You attract what you are, not what you want. So if you want it, reflect it. If you want to feel more love in your life, send out more love. If you want to feel more compassion in your life, be more compassionate.
  15. Choose to shine. Remember everything in life is a choice. So choose happiness. Choose positivity. Choose love.

I hope that this blog has served a purpose or need for you today. Next time you’re feeling like you need a boost, come back to this page and read again.

Top 10 Reasons Sex is GREAT for Your Health

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There are so many elements to being a healthy person – fitness, nutrition, sleep, spirituality, connection, and the list goes on. But one of my favorites is sex. Yes – that’s right, in order to be a truly healthy person sex is needed. Some of us like it more often than others, some of us like it different ways than others, but at the end of the day, it is a fact that part of the key to an overall healthy ADULT is a great sex life.

According to sex therapist Richard A. Carroll from Northwestern University, “We are programmed to do so (have sex). Asking why people have sex is akin to asking why we eat. Our brains are designed to motivate us toward that behavior.”

Humans have sex for a multitude number of reasons from curiosity to exercise, from pleasure to stress relief, and from wanting to pro-create to wanting to boost self esteem. I find it fascinating to find out why people have or don’t have sex. I have personally never understood the idea of withholding sex from your partner as punishment because he or she didn’t do/act/say what you wanted them to. Is that not punishment to both? And moreover, why would you want to punish someone you are so intimate with? The topic of sexual encounters is one that truly intrigues me.

Back to the health benefit of sex! Here are my Top Ten Reasons as to why sex can actually improve your health:

  1. Lowers stress levels
  2. Lowers cholesterol levels and in turn lowers your risk for a heart attack
  3. Sex burns approximately 290 calories per hour – great exercise!
  4. Orgasm can partially or completely alleviate migraines (according to a University of Munster study)
  5. Heart health – with all of that cardio, you’re on a roll to a healthier heart!
  6. Helps keep your immune system on track due to an increased level of antibodies
  7. Improves women’s bladder control – all those kegel exercises and daily sex is helping you in so many ways!
  8. Lowers blood pressure
  9. Lowers the risk for prostate cancer in men
  10. Improves sleep

And of course, an absolute favorite is that it just feels great! Sometimes we need to do things because they feel great. Maybe that’s having an ice cream sundae, or playing hooky from work, or maybe it’s having terrific sex. Do what feels amazing and this world is your oyster.

Back to School, Back to You!

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As the start of the school year approaches, parents are breathing a sigh of relief while at the same time undergoing associated stress. For those parents that have enjoyed a summer with their children, they will welcome a relief from the repeated question “what are we doing today?” For those parents that have had to work out of the home, they will welcome the relief from often patch-work child care/camps/playdates and holiday schedules. However with this relief comes a new bag of items to organize: planning, preparing and packing lunches, driving and pick up, homework monitoring and after-school program maintenance and scheduling.

Part of the stress on parents is spurred by the much-needed, but often busy, after school programs. Not only is it a question of what activities to have your children sign up for but also the cost, the driving, planning dinners around it, carpools, equipment, uniforms etc…

So what do parents do to stay calm and level-headed?

While planning your children’s activities, enroll yourself in an activity. This is possible for anyone – as impossible as it may seem. Although easier for some more than others, it is hugely important for parents to take time for themselves in order to relax and recharge for the following reasons:

1 – Improve or maintain health good health: registering in a leisure activity can include a form of physical fitness – whether it is going to the gym, signing up for a kickboxing class or a masters swim team, they all will benefit you in some way physically – as a part of a healthy lifestyle

2 – Reduce stress: whether it is a spin class, cooking class or a yoga class, there are aspects of any of these activities that help to reduce stress. Even stepping away from the house and the kids and doing something on your own, for YOU, helps to slow your breathing and gain perspective. Yoga has meditative qualities and breathing exercises that make you stop to focus on yourself.

3 – Lead by example: children learn how to relax and spend leisure time by watching their parents. Do you read? Do you have a hobby? Do you exercise? Do you know how to relax? Do you take time for yourself? By doing these things teaches children the importance of balance and making “you” a priority.

4 – Perspective: Returning from a walk or a yoga class may help you be much more “level-headed” than before the activity began. These activities force you to step away from the current, sometimes crazy, situation and just breathe. Simply breathing and not “thinking”, per se, allows you to relax, focus and gain perspective. Is the puzzle spread over the flood a tragedy? Is the sink full of dishes going to be the end of the world? If the floor doesn’t get vacuumed today will anyone be worse off in life?

So this “back to school” time, make it “back to you”. Put yourself on the ever growing “to-do” list. Ask for help when you need it. Enroll in that class. Make yourself a priority. Do not feel guilty or make excuses why you can’t. You and your family will be better off for it.

 

Ronda Rousey Athletic Body Shaming

ronda-rousey

Ronda Rousey, the UFC’s Women’s Bantamweight Champion, and in my opinion currently the undisputed toughest woman on the circuit, has been under fire for her body, with critics saying she is “too masculine”. Similarly less than a month ago online bullies took to Serena Williams saying she is “built like a man”.

This type of body shaming enrages me!! First of all, who is anyone to call out what another woman’s body looks like? Who are YOU to say that she is “manly” or “feminine”? Hot or not? Sexy or not? Let’s pause and think that maybe these women are building their bodies the way they are because THEY want to look that way. Because THEY want to be able to do things with their bodies that others cannot. Because THEY think they look beautiful, strong and sexy. Maybe they aren’t doing it for a man’s or the media’s approval.

On Facebook this week I posed the question to my friends what they felt of the recent body shaming of Ronda Rousey. The conversation lead to asking the question – why is fit, athletic and muscular only to be associated with men? Are women’s physical traits only to be soft and curvy and thin? I feel that a strong, fit and athletic woman in fact is the ULTIMATE female – there is nothing masculine about this type of female warrior. She is what I define as WOMAN.

We also had many of the men comment on how sexy and hot and attractive she is. And don’t get me wrong, I definitely agree that she is. But that is still objectifying her as body type of men are drooling over rather than looking at her body as she would describe it – using every single muscle for a purpose. If that is not the ultimate female body, I don’t know what is.

In the North America, roughly 25 million women and 12 million men suffer from a clinically significant eating disorder at some time in their life, including anorexia nervosa, bulimia nervosa, binge eating disorder, or OSFED (Other Specified Feeding Eating Disorder). For various reasons, many cases are likely not to be reported. In addition, many individuals struggle with body dissatisfaction and sub-clinical disordered eating attitudes and behaviors, and the best-known contributor to the development of anorexia nervosa and bulimia nervosa is body dissatisfaction. By age 6, girls especially start to express concerns about their own weight or shape. 40-60% of elementary school girls (ages 6-12) are concerned about their weight or about becoming too fat. This concern endures through life (Source: https://www.nationaleatingdisorders.org/get-facts-eating-disorders)

If we as a society continue to point out all the things WRONG with women’s bodies – from being too fit, to too fat, to too skinny – what are we doing to the minds and confidence of the girls and women of the world? Do we not want to live in a world that is full of confident, self-assured, happy women? Why must we bash others’ appearance in order to feel good about ourselves?

Fat shaming has been something that has been an issue in our society for decades. Now that women are searching for a more athletic build, we are beating them up over that. It is not any different. Making fun of someone because they have a few extra pounds and making fun of someone because they have lots of muscle is simply cruel. Don’t take on the mindset that ‘she can handle it’ just because she is physically strong. That’s a weak excuse and this shaming of women’s bodies needs to stop.