I often find people trolling the internet to find the ‘secret to happiness’. While I do think this is something that you create rather than something you find, I also know there are a few things that make us ‘positive and happy’ people different. So this blog is all about what I do in my every day to keep an optimistic outlook no matter what the universe throws my way.
1) Compartmentalize – I think this is integral to not having your world feel like it is crashing in on you. When something is going crappy in your life, you need to understand that is ONE aspect of your life, and to keep it in its own compartment. For example if you hate your job – it is just work and only one aspect of your life. Your life isn’t terrible because work is terrible. There are plenty of other terrific things/people/places in your life, so try to concentrate on those more. Although some crappy life experiences can really overtake your life, like a loss of a loved one for example, it is really important to try to compartmentalize.
2) See the good – once you’ve been able to keep bad experiences separated from ‘my entire life sucks’, you will begin to count your blessings. Your friends. Your family. Your health. How much your love the feeling of the sun on your shoulders. The taste of strawberry ice cream on a hot day. Really start to notice the great things in your life, and if need be, write those things down. I do – and I have about 20,000 things to be happy about in my happiness book.
3) Have close, meaningful relationships – PLURAL. It is too much to put on one person to bring this to your soul. Close, meaningful, trustworthy relationships are very important to being happy and positive. Don’t put this all on your partner. You need other family members and friends in your life. People with different interests and perspectives, experiences and knowledge. Soak it in and have honest relationships.
4) Be healthy – this could be a book in and of itself of course, but proper nutrition and adequate exercise are really important. For one, they release endorphins that physically make you happier. Secondly, when you feel healthy and strong, you are much more capable of being happy and to have a positive outlook. Nobody is overly jolly when sick – take really good care of yourself and your health. This is the only body you have.
5) Have great sex. Let’s be honest – who isn’t happy when that’s happening!
6) Find your happy place. My partner and I love this one! Daydream either on your own or with your partner/friends/family about your dream life. The Law of Attraction has a game to do this called “The What If Up Game”. It feels so wonderful to do, to imagine your future full of fabulous. And really begin to understand how this would FEEL for you to have it all. Because you can. You really CAN have it all. And when you begin to believe that statement, watch how it all comes to you.
7) Be confident – I understand that this is easier said than done of course, so start with small steps. Know what you are great at and do those things more often to start making yourself feel good about YOU. Nobody can make you feel good about the person that you are other than you. You don’t have to be a super model or a brain surgeon or the most popular to be confident. You just need to know yourself and not be afraid to be you.
8) If you don’t like it, change it. Complaining doesn’t fix problems. Change does. If you hate your job, your relationship, the city you live in – leave it. Nobody is holding you against your will to do anything. And after a while your friends and family will dwindle because you are always complaining about something. So be the change that you want to see in your own life. And then start to see the good and the blessings in the newness. Remember – this is YOUR LIFE. YOU own it. YOU create it. YOU get to make it everything and anything you want.